It’s been since August 9th, 2017 since I last blogged about my knee surgery.
That seems like worlds away right now. But not so far away on those rainy, cold, days when I’m reminded that doing an across the floor knee slide is no longer in my repertoire.
I have managed to maintain enough strength to get my ass on stage.
I swim around through my fluid movements that surprisingly enough people still like to see me do them.
So I do.
I have to be completely up front and honest though. My super deep desire for dancing to the point of turning myself inside out as if no one is watching has not been truly inspired in a long time.
I’m talking about being inspired in the way that you were inspired the first time you saw a dance performance that made you go home, stay up all night drinking Mountain Dew and then throw yourself around on carpeted floors until you thought you’d achieved what you saw a on stage or film.
That type of inspiration has not happened on this side of the dance floor in a really long time.
I know that in part it’s because of my own fear.
Fear of injury.
Fear is debilitating. It will hold you back and lock you up inside of an existence that will have you forgetting about what it means to live.
It will hide you away and have you regretting on your death bed, wishing that you’d just reached a little harder to experience those things you’d always wanted to but we’re afraid to reach for.
Fear can be defeated.
But, sometimes that fear is also allowing you to maintain some form of your common sense.
For example last night I was once again inspired to dance my ass off to the point of self destruction/self combustion.
The kind of dancing where you loose control. Where you are no longer guided by your mind but guided by the way your body feels. That’s the best kind of dancing.
When the thoughts can no longer be seen in your eyes and the viewer can see your soul and your heart through every minuscule articulation in your body.
That’s the place I wanted to be in last night after I watched the 11:30 viewing of a breathtaking, psychological, horror, dance, experimental film directed, written and Co-edited by the brilliant Gasper Noe.
It’s choreographed beautifully by Nina McNeely and stars the incredible actress, dancer, choreographer Sofia Boutella as Selva.
It is a horror film so it’s not for the faint at heart but I still recommend it, if you like roller coaster rides like do.
It’s about 20, French, urban dancers (all incredibly talented, fierce, balls to the walls dancers) who convene for a 3 day long rehearsal in a studio in the forest.
After rehearsal they have their own dance party and there is a large bowl of deliciously yummy, mysterious, sangria involved.
MADNESS - SEXY and H0RRIFYNG!
See it for yourselves.
While you’re doing that I’m going to continue to pray for reverse aging in my joints and limbs so that I’m ready to blow out my 100th birthday party when it comes.
See you on the dance floor. Maniacs.
Oh and by the way the continuation of my knee surgery shenanigans can be witnessed in my Move videos Move 001 through about Move 030
From August 2017 to 2019 I had to let go of that surgery storytelling in order to move beyond what I was imagining as my limitiations.